How to do it right

If you couldn't tell from my Jason Collins piece I'm a pretty big proponent of gay marriage, and gay rights in general.  However, I've often thought of myself as having a rather unique stance on homosexuality in given the previous sentence.

In short, I'm not a fan.

I'm a very firm believer in what the Declaration of Independence says, and it says that "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

And as part of that very important line, I believe that denying people their rights to be happy is simply wrong.  That is why I am for gay marriage, even if I'm not comfortable with homosexuality.  Denying people their right to marry because you don't like it is one of the most un-American things you can do, and I think is part of the definition of tyranny.

Having said this, I know that there are people out there who disagree with the right for gays to marry, and as long as you are willing to put forth that idea without bigotry, I will respect your opinion, even though I disagree with it.  That's what a healthy discourse is supposed to be.  Unfortunately, this is an issue where people constantly use bigotry to defend their opposition to gay marriage (and gay rights in general), which as far as I'm concerned, makes their opinion invalid.

So now I bet you're wondering, "What the hell is the point of this?"  Well, here it is.

See?  Punters can be cool!

The Minnesota Vikings recently cut punter Chris Kluwe, a very active and outspoken proponent of gay rights, and it was rumored that his release was related to his pro-gay stance in every aspect of the argument.  Recently, when asked about what he thought about Kluwe's cut from the team and his own stance on homosexual marriage, Vikings all-world Running Back Adrian Peterson said this:

"It hurt me to see him leave," Peterson said.  "To each his own, [but] I'm not with it," he said. "I have relatives who are gay. I'm not biased towards them. I still treat them the same. I love 'em. But again, I'm not with that. That's not something I believe in. But to each his own," he said.

For the whole article, go here

A simple answer to a complicated question.

 Do I agree with what Peterson said?  Of course not.  But he did something rarely done in anti-gay rights movements/protests/speeches - he stated his stance without resorting to bigotry.  He admits the duality of his own opinion in that he has gay family members whom he still loves and respects, but it is not something that he is openly ok with.  Obviously I wish that he did support gay marriage, but as he said "To each his own."

There are ways to support things, and there are ways to oppose them.  I really think Peterson did a really good job of expressing his opinion without resorting to any trips down the low road.  And I commend him for that.  I respect his opinion.

Because clearly, he respects mine.

My definition of sport

Today I'm going to talk about what I think defines "sport."  I originally came up with this idea years ago as an attempt to invalidate soccer as a sport.  Not a fan.  Unfortunately, every rule that I came up with did validate soccer as a sport, so I have to accept it as one, even though I personally don't enjoy it. 

Please don't be a sport...

 For me this is an old argument I've had with many people, so I figure for the purposes of future arguments (which I know will be had) I can have these written down in an attempt to be like "No, I didn't make these up on the spot to tell you that the Magic world championships are not a sport."

An important note here is that while I rule out many things as sports and into the realm of "activities" this by no means diminishes the challenge and difficulty required to do them.  Just because I don't consider it a sport doesn't mean it's easy.  I'm pretty sure open heart surgery isn't a sport, but that doesn't make it easier then something that is.

Without further ado, here are the rules.

1.  Objective Scoring

Not easy, but not a sport

This one's a biggie.  What this means is that everything you do to score is objective.  Doesn't matter how awesome that touchdown pass was, it's still only 6 points.  A soccer goal is still 1, a basketball shot from the other baseline is only 3 no matter how hard the shot is.   This rule rules out anything that is judged.  This means gymnastics, figure skating, cheerleading, the X games, diving, are all out.  A judge having a bad day can determine who wins and loses an event, not the contestants.  Remember the French judge in the Olympics in 2002?  That's the reason subjective scoring aka judging is out.

2.  Active Defense

Nope, this doesn't count either.

What this means is that you can affect your opponent.  In order for a sport to be a true sport, you need to be able to actively impact what your opponent does, and the example of defense works well here.  This rule rules out things like bowling, golf (though Sergio Garcia would strongly disagree here), and most track and field events.  Although the visuals of defense in say, bowling, are pretty funny.  I think it would look something like this.  Forward to 2:37.

3.  Hand Eye Coordination

Not even close.

This rules out most activities that you see sometimes reffered to as sports.  Sorry, but poker isn't a sport.  I don't care if you win millions of dollars, that doesn't make playing the lottery a sport.  This also rules out your tabletop games and CCGs.  This also makes most sports something that not everyone can do.  I have enough hand eye coordination to hit a baseball with a bat, but not enough to do so against a 100mph fastball.  I've tried and failed miserably at 85mph.

4.  Physical Activity

I shouldn't even have to say it.

Sorry Korea, StarCraft isn't a sport.  You can't sit on your ass and claim you are competing in a sport.  This also rules out many other things from rule #3, but is important to add because the previous rules don't rule out video games.  And those clearly are not sports.  The level of physical activity should also be above and beyond what an average joe could do, at least on the highest level of the sport.

These are the main rules for sports.  Now, there are some things that fall into a sort of grey area here, whereas they are truly sports or not.  The biggest one that I continually encounter, is racing.  Now I previously mentioned racing a bit in the active defense bit, but once you remove the lanes and are able to run and maneuver, you do affect your opponents.  So this still rules out things like the 100m dash, but doesn't rule out marathon running.  Racing also has objective scoring, someone clearly finishes first, second, and requires hand eye coordination to run, and is definitely physical.  The most interesting argument for "lane" racing is the active defense, the ability to affect your opponent.  While you don't directly jump in front of your opponent or anything like that, you could argue that runner A running in 10 seconds affects the finishes of the other runners.  It's a valid argument, and is why I leave racing on the fence, for now.  But there is a bigger problem with racing in my sports argument.

This doesn't rule out NASCAR.

Vroom!

That's the one that bugs me the most.   NASCAR clearly has objective scoring, and drivers have been known to intentionally wreck each other, which is a form of active defense, and driving at high speeds requires a great deal of hand eye coordination.  But the physical activity part is tricky.  These drivers go through a lot physically during a race, but as to calling it physical activity?  I don't know.  The drivers aren't the ones running around at 200mph, the cars are.  Maybe the cars are athletes, I don't know.

Horse racing is also a grey area for me here, mostly because the jockey isn't the one doing the work, yet they are referred to as athletes.   As of now, everything that I consider a grey area I shy towards the side of sport, just to err on the side of caution.

So what is a sport then, according to my arbitrary rules?  Basketball, football, baseball, hockey all clearly are.  Soccer has to be (sigh...), as does Cricket.  Lacrosse is a sport.  Jousting is a sport.  Motorcross probably is.  BMX racing definitely is.  Tennis for sure.  Hell, even Ultimate Frisbee is.

Yes dammit, you're a sport...

What does this mean for the non-sports?  They are now "activities."  Like pottery.  That is an activity.  Doesn't make it easy, I want to stress that point from earlier.  I've seen the things gymnasts can do.  That shit is hard.  I just don't consider it a sport.

Feel free to yell at me.  I'm expecting it.

Change in direction

After a couple of conversations this past week, I've decided to not make this a sports-only blog.  That is definitely still going to be a major area of concentration, but sometimes I feel like writing something that isn't sports related, won't get run in the paper, but doesn't fit on a sports blog.

So that title is just quasi-official now.

Anywho, while I know most people who follow this read my paper posts anyways, I'll begin my first non-sports post by reposting my column that ran in the Copperas Cove Herald a few days back.  However, I'm gonna post my original version, if nothing else I thought the ending was better then what printed.

Without further ado...

With the birth of my son looming, I find myself beginning to prepare little things for his arrival to ensure his greatness as a man.  

I began with some simple things, like ordering him a dinosaur taxonomy poster I had as a child.  This will hopefully instill in him the same love of dinosaurs that I still have today.  The next step is making sure that his love of Transformers is based on the 1984 cartoon and not the horribly mangled childhood memories that Michael Bay put on the big screen.

But among these little things, I realized I had a major issue I needed to address.

I need a cardboard cutout in my sons room of someone whom he can look up to, a hero for him.

As of right now, I have it narrowed down to three paragons of manliness, three men who are an Adonis in their own right.  Three men that anyone can grow up to emulate and be proud of themselves.

Three men that do not exist.

In no particular order, the life size cardboard cutout I want to get for my son is going to be either Ron Burgundy from Anchorman, Jack Donaghy from 30 Rock, or Ron Swanson from Parks and Recreation.

You know, important people.

I originally started the process of finding this role model (and yes, role model) as a joke, but I began to seriously think about it and I asked myself “Who would I really want my son to be like?”

Role model #1

We’ll start with Ron Burgundy.  He’s classy, confident, and loves animals.  However, he litters, handles tragedy poorly, and womanizes.  Burgundy will more than likely bear the most physical similarities with my son, as I am 6’4” and Will Ferrell is 6’3”.  He has a successful career in sunny San Diego, and also like me, has a close knit group of die hard friends who will do anything for him – including fighting a bear.

Role model #2

Next we have Jack Donaghy.  An absolute paragon of the business world, smoothness doesn’t even touch his ability with the fairer sex.  His ability to read people is astounding, and he just oozes success.  However, he is absolutely ruthless in any endeavor he approaches, which can be good to an extent, but not to the degree he carries it.  He seldom makes lasting friendships, and when he does they are with… odd people.  He is deeply entrenched in his own personal belief and ethos, and doesn’t yield it when others confront him about it.  While I disagree with his personal ethos, holding fast to what you believe is a trait I find very admirable.

Role model #3

Finally we have Ron Swanson.  Ron Swanson is a government employee who hates the government.  But everything else about him is pure man.  He hunts and fishes, works with woods, and appreciates a good painting of a boat.  He has “Swanson Pyramid of Greatness” with such groups on it as “Welfare Avoidance,” “Cow Protein,” and above all else, “Honor – if you need it defined, you don’t have it.”  He can be extremely uncompromising and stuck in his ways, even when they greatly hinder himself and those around him.  He firmly believes in himself, and knows that when something goes wrong he can always count on himself.  And he has a landmine on his desk.

These men, these manly men are who I am looking to for guidance.  These are the men I want my son to look up to and say “Yes, this is right, I will do as they do.”

Odds are my wife will kill this idea before I get it off of the ground.  Which I suppose means my son will have to do what I had to do as a kid, and look up who I had to look up to.  The most manly of men, someone who wasn’t afraid to lay down the law, but was always there when you needed him, someone who no matter how bad things got was always right there, someone who had no problem driving me around at 2 AM in his old Chevy pickup so I could fall back asleep.

Like me, I want my son to look up to his father and be just like him.

I guess this guy will have to do.

I think there's a resemblance here.