A phenomenon I've been meaing to mention

Today I'm going to talk about something I've noticed for years.  A simple phenomenon that I first remember noticing in the spring of 2007.  I looked around when I realized what was happening, and after some quick discussion among my friends, I realized I was not alone in what I was experiencing.

I am, of course, talking about the phenomenon of white people clapping.

What I remember as the original date of noticing this phenomenon was May or June of 2007.  Myself and a group of friends were at another friends college graduation when a small band of professors went onstage as some sort of folksy bluegrass band, I don't really remember what.  Shortly after they began performing, the crowd began clapping in time with the music, and it all kinda went to hell from there.

It became clear - very, very clear - after about 15 seconds that no one present was able to clap on beat.  I don't know why everyone was on a different beat, but it was... pretty bad.  I began laughing hysterically, and it was then and there that I determined that there is such a phenomenon known as white people clapping.

This is a problem that has been around for a very long time, and I know I'm not the first to notice it.  A quick bit of internet research claims that the reason for this is simply when white people clap.  Claims are that white people clap on the 1 & 3, or the "off" beats, while everyone else claps on the 2 & 4. 

I really, really, really wish it was that simple.

Truth of the matter is, if you are clapping on any beat consistently, you will still clap in rhythm.  It may sound off, but the rhythmic nature of the clap should remain consistent.  This simply doesn't happen when a group of white people begin clapping.  At best, it turns into an odd form of applause.

The most recent observation of this phenomenon for me happened about 2 weeks ago, when I was covering a music festival for the paper.  As part of the festival, they had an American Idol-esque competition, and most of the singers attempted to get the crowd to clap along.

It was really, really, really bad.

Until the black people showed up.

Once the black people began clapping, it was great!  But left to their own devices, the white people were just... oh man.  Oddly enough, I did notice that there still was an issue when the audience was predominantly black, but it was minor at best, and nothing compared to the lack of rhythm that white people have demonstrated over the years.

Why this theory has proven itself to me over and over again, I will never know, but it is something that white people need to address.  Maybe we need required music education to teach white people basic rhythms, maybe everybody should have a metronome in their house, I don't know.  But dammit, I hate being the only white guy at events who can clap on beat.

Oddly enough though, there is a large group of white people who don't have this issue, and in fact, they rarely have issue maintaining any beat.  This group of people are only ever sighted in arenas and stadiums.

That's right, sports fans.

Take any white guy with no rhythm and stick him in a sports stadium, and suddenly he's a human metronome. 

Don't believe me?

Watch this.

 

 Fast forward to 3:30

This is in London, people.  It doesn't get much whiter then that.  Throw a bunch of sports fans together, and they have rhythm.  Don't know why, they just do.   If you still don't believe me, go to a hockey game.  Just sit back, and listen.

Or, better yet, go to a country music concert and hope people begin to clap.  If nothing else, that will also help prove my point.

So I invite you all, go out and observe this phenomena, and whatever side of the discussion you fall onto, please, help others find their rhythm, and learn how to successfully clap.