A-Rod and HOLY HELL WHAT JUST HAPPENED

So I was going to take the time and write up my A-Rod post that I've been meaning to even though the whole catastrophe isn't resolved yet, and I get up this morning to see the universe buzzing about something that happened last night.

This.

Ahhhhh!

 What the hell is going on here?

And yes, this is real.  Not made up.

The mind simply boggles at this whole "performance."  Between the "costumes" and "songs" and "dancing" someone should have just been "Alright, this is rediculous."  The whole thing would have made sense if Allen Funt came out to the crowd and said "Smile, you're on candid camera!"  Then everyone would have been "Oh, it makes sense now."

Nowhere to be seen.

There were two things that made sense throughout that whole debacle - This is the VMA's, this is what they do, and the crowd reactions, oh the crowd reactions!  First, Will Smith and family:

I love the look on the son's face.  I'm also pretty sure Will Smith is about to utter something that isn't exactly family friendly.

Then, Taylor Swift:

Pure confusion.

Then finally, New Direction sitting behind Rhianna.  They look confused, she looks bored.

"Bitch please, that is NOT how you get attention.  Stick with a wife beater, then we'll talk"

Glorious!

I mean, if the goal here was shock value, mission accomplished.  But if the aim was anything else, anything else at all, horrible failure.

But I shouldn't be surprised by this.  The VMA's do something like this every single year.  There's always something weird(Madonna in 1984), crazy(Britney Spears in 2000), or douchey(Kanye in 2009) happening, it's just what they do.  They made a shitty award that has a shitty award show, so they need to do something to get people to watch.

And I suppose now it makes sense.  For a network that was originally called "Music Television," they haven't stuck to that idea for decades now.  I don't know what the M stands for now, but music clearly isn't it.  They churn out sensationalist garbage instead of their original goal of being a home for music videos.  Hell, when I was a kid I remember thinking "why don't they play more music?"  Ah well.

If nothing else, they got people talking about them - again, and when next year's VMA's roll around, something else will happen, and we'll go through this spiel again.

Yippie.

And actually, I want to add one last thing.  It's always mind blowing to me when things like this happen because what they are at their core is the young celebrity saying to the world "I'm all grown up now, don't look at me like a kid."

Yeah... no.

Grown ups don't think having a plushy orgy and grinding on Bettlejuice on national television is a good idea.  You want to break the mold of the child star?  Do something an adult would do.  Not something a teenage looking to piss off daddy would do.  You want to break out of the mold correctly, there's a great and super successful example of how to do it.

Fucking N Fucking P Fucking H

Neil Patrick Harris.  NPH.  I want to be him.  I could live with the whole sex with guys thing if I was NPH.  This guy will ALWAYS be known as "the Doog" to his peers, but there is an entire generation that know him as Barney, or Dr. Horrible, or as NEIL PATRICK HARRIS.  He didn't act like a stripper.  He didn't degrade himself on television.  He just... grew up.  And acted like it.

I'm SO glad I could end this on a picture of NPH.  That makes me happy.