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| F**k yeah! |
Whoohoo! Football is almost here! Which means it's time again for me to do what no one is asking and make my season predictions. And like everyone else who does this thing, I have no credibility whatsoever is making these claims! Huzzah!
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| I got this part right! |
Let us start in the AFC
AFC East
They may as well rename this the Patriot's division to lose. 10 of the last 11 AFC East titles have gone to New England, and the other teams are just... so bad. The Jets did not get better, and their secondary is either injured or rookies. They are going to get burned bad on the back end. I like the Watkins pick in Buffalo, but feel like they're going to give up too many points to overcome. Miami looks better every year, and while I think Tannehill is not the answer there, he may be good enough to get this team into the playoffs in the super weak AFC.
1. New England
2. Miami
3. NY Jets
4. Buffalo
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| "Owwwww..." |
AFC North
How the mighty have fallen. Following their super bowl victory, the Ravens got rid of everybody except Flacco, and that hasn't worked out too well. Pittsburgh is continuing their tailspin, Cleveland is, well, Cleveland, and Cincinatti is the cream of the crap here, they should get to 10 wins easily and walk away with this division.
1. Cincinatti
2. Pittsburgh
3. Baltimore
4. Cleveland
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| Cue soulless death stare in 3... |
AFC South
More crap! Noticing a theme yet in the AFC? The Colts could trot out their practice squad and win this division. Jacksonville is still in the middle of their massive rebuilding project and are hoping they finally found their quarterback of the future in Blake Bortles. Meanwhile, Tennessee still doesn't know who they have in Locker, and I honestly don't know who is starting in Houston. Houtson's fall last year was a crazy anomaly, so they should bounce back to mediocrity, but not the playoffs. While there isn't much good going on in Tennessee right now, watch Bishop Sankey, he's slowly getting a lot of love as a front runner for ROY, and with his motor and play style he has a very real chance at it. Until teams realize it and load the box and force Locker to beat them.
1. Indianapolis
2. Houston
3. Jacksonville
4. Tennessee
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| Sankey is the bright spot Tennessee. Remember that. |
AFC West
The Chiefs took advantage of a last place schedule last year to have a remarkable year and win close game after close game. This year they'll come back to earth, and could make the playoffs in a super weak AFC. They're probably going to finish third here behind Denver and San Diego, so they will need to play exceptionally well out of conference. We have no idea if we'll get good or bad Rivers this year, but good Rivers can easily take this San Diego team to 10 wins in the weak AFC. Denver is slated to roll again, though the losses of Eric Decker and Wes Welker (for at leas 4 games anyways) will hurt the offensive production and someone could sneak up on them.early, even though three of their first four are at home (and a road game in Seattle. Have fun with that). Oh, Oakland is here too. And starting a rookie QB. They're going to be... well, a football team, technically, but that's about it.
1. Denver
2. San Diego
3. Kansas City
4. Oakland
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| He was thatclose. Nah, I saw that game. It was never close. |
NFC East
While the AFC is noticeably weaker then the NFC, the NFC East is noticeably weaker then the AFC. This division is BAD. Philly will be exciting with their crazy Chip Kelly offense, but it kills their defense and wears down their offense throughout the course of the season. Nick Foles and Lesean McCoy will have massive fantasy years which will win Philadelphia the division, just to have them lose in round one to a wild card opponent. The Giants are a train wreck, the Washington He-who-shall-not-be-nameds are relying on a shaky RGIII, and Dallas is trying to work with a 34 year old Tony Romo coming off of back surgery. And Dallas lost all of their key playmakers on defense. And they're coached by Jason Garrett. And Jerry Jones will still make more money then any other owner because, hey, they're the Cowboys. History tells us that Dallas will finish 8-8 and miss the playoffs, but they'll be lucky to win 8 games this year with this roster.
1. Philadelphia
2. New York
3. Washington
4. Dallas
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| More sad times. Bonus points if you remember this game. |
NFC North
Green Bay is very vulnerable as the favorites in this division, and all four teams could easily win this. I'm a huge believer in Teddy Bridgewater and feel like he was the best pick of the 2014 draft. He's coming into a great situation in Minnesota offensively and should be able to lead that team to at least 8 wins while All Day carries the load. Of course, this is assuming Minnesota realizes they actually drafted him and he might have a bit higher ceiling then Matt Cassel. Detroit is always scary with Stat Padford at quarterback and Megatron going deep. Reggie Bush was an amazing addition for last season and it showed. Their defense has been underplaying, if they play to their ability they should be a good unit. Chicago has a typical Chicago style D, plus a fantastic passing game with Cutler throwing it to Marshall and Jeffries. Trestman has got Chicago moving in the right direction, and they should be able to unseat Green Bay, who have major losses on both lines this year, and will struggle against any high flying offense. But Green Bay does have Eddie Lacy, and he is damn good. Chicago has Matt Forte, and he gives Chicago the edge in what should be a hard fought division all year.
1. Chicago
2. Green Bay
3. Detroit
4. Minnesota
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| This guy catches everything, and he's their #2 receiver. |
NFC South
Year in and year out, the NFC South has been the most unpredictable division in football. Last place finishes first the next year, while the winner becomes the cellar dweller. Unless you're Tampa Bay, and you just get cozy in the root cellar. Both Atlanta and Carolina are coming off of flukey years, with Atlanta's crazy injury bug sure to not repeat itself, and Carolina under the guidance of "Riverboat Ron" likely to lose their many gambles this year as opposed to last. New Orleans is the steady ship here, and should do amazing things with the upgrades on defense, and Drew Brees being, well, Drew Brees. Tampa is becoming a popular dark horse pick, but I don't like them at all and feel like they still have some more rebuilding to do before they can climb to the top in this division.
1. New Orleans
2. Atlanta
3. Carolina
4. Tampa Bay
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| It's not a good sign when google recommends "Cam Newton Sulking" |
NFC West
Home of the champs, land of the ass kickings! Seattle is in great shape to possibly repeat, with their only challenge being that they play in the NFC. The NFC is loaded and will surely make for a tough path back to the Superbowl, but Seattle is a tough hard-nosed team who plays amazing defense, can run the ball down your throat, and Russel Wilson is getting better and better. I compared Wilson once to Steve Young in his play style and ability, and I still feel the comparison is accurate. Only difference is Wilson will probably get more titles then Young. San Francisco is normally the main challenger to Seattle, but combined with a slew of injuries and way too many off the field incidents resulting in the most arrests in the league the last few years, they look ready to fall. Couple that with Alex Boone not being happy there at all makes for a shaky team on and off the field, and you can't win with that. Also I think Kaepernick is a tool, so I don't want to see them succeed. I'm totally not biased here. St. Louis was looking promising as a possible wild card team, but Bradford's injury coupled with their refusal to move away from him as their QB has doomed them to yet another year of mediocrity. They will play spoiler though, if for nothing else then their defensive line. There's a reason they cut Michael Sam after that great preseason. They don't need him. Arizona is one of the oldest teams in the league, and while they have stars to help them out, they are led by the 34 year old Carson Palmer who will be going against the NFC West 6 times this year. That is not a good combination. What has been the best division in football the last two years might not be anymore as these teams will falter. Besides Seattle of course.
1. Seattle
2. Arizona
3. San Francisco
4. St. Louis
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| Don't worry Kaep, it's just the tip. |
Playoffs
AFC Seeding
1. Denver
2. New England
3. Indianapolis
4. Cincinatti
5. San Diego
6. Miami
NFC Seeding
1. Seattle
2. New Orleans
3. Chicago
4. Philadelphia
5. Green Bay
6. Atlanta
Round 1
Byes - Denver, New England, Seattle, New Orleans
Indianapolis over Miami, San Diego over Cincinatti
Chicago over Atlanta, Green Bay over Philadelphia
Round 2
Denver over San Diego, Indianapolis over New England
Seattle over Green Bay, Chicago over New Orleans
AFC Championship
Denver over Indianapolis
NFC Championship
Seattle over Chicago
Super Bowl XXXIX
Seattle over Denver, because we've seen this before.
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| "We need more blue and green confetti!" |
MVP
I think the loss of Welker and Decker will hurt Manning in the early go, which should enable Drew Brees to put up better numbers, giving Brees the MVP. Adrian Peterson can always go Adrian Peterson on everyone too and walk away with it, but my money is on Brees.
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| Here's your MVP. And my wife thinks he's hot, so he's got that going for him too. |
Defensive Player of the year
Great defenders on the same team tend to take votes away from each other. I want to pick Earl Thomas, but know that he will split votes with Richard Sherman. My money is on Robert Quinn, the stud defensive end in St. Louis who could very well break the single season sack record. And hopefully on a legitimate sack. I'm looking at you Mr. Favre...
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| Expect to see this. A lot. |
Coach of the Year
Has to be Marc Trestman. He is doing amazing things in Chicago and I think he will finally be rewarded for it. Carrol will be in the running for this too, as well as Mike McCoy if San Diego plays as well as I think they can.
Comeback player of the year
Got to be Julio Jones. He is an amazing player, and as long as he doesn't get hurt again should put up some astounding numbers. Aaron Rodgers is also a choice here, but as he didn't miss the whole season I think the nod will go to Jones
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| Come back Julio |
Offensive Rookie of the Year
Bishop Sankey. He's going to get a lot of love in Tennessee, and they will be forced to use him often. Expect a monster year from him. As in pick him up for your fantasy team. Seriously.
Defensive Rookie of the Year
Jadeveon Clowney gets all the PR, and if he plays alongside J.J. Watt and is as disruptive as him, this will be a cake walk. Expect this to go to a linebacker if not Clowney, the tackle numbers a middle linebacker puts up in any system are always astronomical, and to a surprisingly large amount of people that stat matters more then anything else. Having said that, Khalil Mack should be a monster anyways, though watch out for C.J. Mosley in Baltimore. My gut tells me Clowney, with Mack as the number two in votes.
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| Hard to pick Clowney or Mack, I might waffle some more on this. |
Dark Horse
Last year I picked Jacksonville here. That wasn't too smart. This year I'm thinking the Fins. Miami has slowly been getting better the last few years, and they have the weapons to compete in the AFC, and the only real opponent in their division is New England, so watch out for Miami to be a competitor this year.
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| I know it's not their current logo, but I like this one better. |
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